Broken
by Himuro Miharu
Summary: One of them is institutionalized and completely insane after an incident in his past. The other is perfectly sane but doesn't want to admit his best friend's completly gone after an encounter he has with the man while he's institutionalized. Gakuhai
1. CHibichap XD

Title: Broken  
Author: Gacktaddict1330  
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde, Chachamaru/You, Ken/Tetsuya  
Genre: Romance/Drama  
Rating: M  
Warnings: some gore, insanity, guy lovin XD  
Summary: One of them is institutionalized and completely insane after an incident in his past. The other is perfectly sane but doesn't want to admit his best friend's completly gone after an encounter he has with the man while he's institutionalized. *sucky summary sorry*  
Notes: I've been rather depressed lately and this was born randomly. Thanks to anyone who puts up with this *it's not very good at all* i'm so sorry it's been so long since i've updated or even posted something new. I've just been so busy lately I barely have time to type anything up. Thanks for keeping with me y'all. **This chapter is like the shortest thing I've ever written...ever!**  
Disclaimer: The boys own themselves, ^^

* * *

Blood...blood and screams.

That's all he could remember from the attack.

Sitting in his small room he looked around at the stark white walls.

'It wasn't my fault.' He thought.

'Don't lie to yourself. It was all your fault. You wanted it to happen and you know it.' A voice in his mind said.

"No." He said aloud.

"Hm? What was that?" A young woman who was sitting in the room asked.

He shook his head.

"Alright then. I'll see you next week." She said with a gentle smile. Her smile was warm and gentle, her eyes however, conveyed a different emotion. They held fear and nervousness.

Making eye contact with the woman he began to laugh, a hollow, lifeless, frightening sound.

She quickly scrambled out of the room.

"Well? How was it?" An older woman asked, gripping her necklace tightly.

"Not well at all." The woman answered.

Inside the room he couldn't stop laughing. He held Japan in the palm of his hand. He was a god in his own right.

At one time, before all this madness, he, was Gackt Camui.

* * *

thoughts or comments? i'm currently working hard on this story but what do you think i should do?


	2. Ch II

Title: Broken  
Author: Gacktaddict1330  
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde, Chachamaru/You, Ken/Tetsuya  
Genre: Romance/Drama  
Rating: M  
Warnings: some gore, insanity, guy lovin XD  
Summary: One of them is institutionalized and completely insane after an incident in his past. The other is perfectly sane but doesn't want to admit his best friend's completly gone after an encounter he has with the man while he's institutionalized. *sucky summary sorry*  
**REview Answers:**

**Chiakaiyuki**: everything will be...less confusing in like...just a few chapters thanks for the review!

**JJ:** XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD um...well not exactly OTHER peoples hands and feet...XD lol well...i'm definately glad you like it!

**AngelicButterfly777:** YAAAAAAAAY you like it XD awwwwwwwww ^/^ i'be been writing but...i just haven't had time to type or upload XD

Notes: I've been rather depressed lately and this was born randomly. Thanks to anyone who puts up with this *it's not very good at all* i'm so sorry it's been so long since i've updated or even posted something new. I've just been so busy lately I barely have time to type anything up. Thanks for keeping with me y'all.  
Disclaimer: The boys own themselves, ^^

* * *

"Gackt-kun, you have a visitor." THe doctor said poking his head in the door.

He looked up at the doctor, brown eyes confused.

The doctor moved aside, revealing a small man with blonde hair in beads and smalls braids, his caramel eyes widening when they landed on his thin form.

"Hello." Gackt said sweetly, his brown eyes shining with insanity.

"Ga-Gaachan..."The small man trailed off, looking at the shell that was once his best friend.

"What is it?" Gackt asked, tilting his head to the side.

Hyde vaguely registered being told to knock on the door when he was ready to leave and the door closing behind him. Slowly he approached the tall man sitting on the bed.

"H-how are you?" He asked.

"I am...alright." Gackt said.

Hyde could tell 'alright' actually ment 'I'm insane, will anything ever be 'alright' again?' but he chose not to say anything.

"How are they treating you?" Hyde asked, still aproaching the bed with caution.

"Quite well actually. How have you been Haido?" Gackt asked.

"G-good." Hyde said quietly. He stopped in front of the bed, before slowling sitting beside the patient.

"I'm glad to hear that Haido." Gackt said smiling his twisted grin.

Slowly he raised a hand to carress his companions cheek, something he'd never allowed himself to do prior to his incarceration. His other hand rest on the small man's shoulder, and his eyes lost the insane glaze. Suddenly, without warning, his hands shot out and wrapped around his companions pale neck, squeezing.

"Gaachan! Stop!" Hyde cried. Gackt pushed harder, constricting his airways even more.

"Please! Stop it!" Hyde sobbed, his voice hoarse.

'Stop! Stop hurting him! He's your friend!' A familaiar voice in his mind screamed.

Just as suddenly as he began, he removed his hands, pushing him away.

"Leave." He said sweetly.

Hyde scrambled to his feet and staggered to the door, pounding on it.

* * *

Gackt stared into the darkness of his pitch black room. He didn't know how long he'd been in there since Hyde left. They wouldn't allow him to leave after his distastful behavior earlier in the day. Suddenly he felt tears falling from his dark brown eyes.

"Why am I crying?" He asked himself.

When he recieved no answer he brought his left hand up to his lips. Biting down into the flesh he gave a twisted grin when he felt thick liquid run down his throat.

His tears slowly subsided only he didn't release the bleeding appendage. He continued using his teeth to hack away the skin on his too-thin fingers, smiling as he felt the blood running down his throat.

As if on cue, his door opened by the hand of a nurse carrying his breakfast.

"Gackt-san I-" The nurse gasped when she saw the blood round his mouth and his mutilated fingers.

"What can I do for you?" Gackt asked in a sweet voice.

The young woman dropped the tray she held in her hand and turned on her heels to run.

Gackt scowled heavily.

"Well...that's no fun." He mumbled.

He looked to his hand and sighed, licking the wounds and smiling in a twisted way at the coppery, bitter taste.

Suddenly, he thought of gentle caramel eyes and a warm smile, making him release his hand and look away from it.

"What would Hyde think if he saw this?" THe familiar voice, Gackt had now identified as Kami's, asked.

"Shut up." Gackt snapped. A doctor appeared in the doorway and starred in disgust.

"Gackt-san, what have you done?" He asked in irritation.

Gackt gave a grin, blood still staining his perfectly white teeth.

"Why nothing doctor. I was just thirsty." He said.

The doctor, after having the man in the institution for nearly three years was used to the game, and played along well.

"But Gackt-san, why did you not ask for a drink?"

"Oh no, I couldn't. I don't want to impose on any of you. After all, you've all been so kind and gracious to me." Gackt said with a sick grin.

"I see. What have I told you about this method of 'drinking'?" The doctor asked.

"You have said not to. But I do not wish to be a burden." Gackt said innocently.

The doctor left long enough to get some gauze and medical supplies to tend to the patients injured hand.

"All we can do now is get you to a doctor soon and hope it heals properly." The doctor said walking up to his patient.

Gackt waited with a sick grin until the doctor was right infront of him. Without notice he lashed out at the man with his foot sending him crumbling to the ground. He grabbed the sheet on his bed and moved quickly behind the fallen man. Wrapping it around his neck he pulled until the doctor simply lost conciousness, then quickly ran out the still open door.

"Hey!" A woman yelled.

"Stop him!" Another man screamed.

Gackt let out an insane giggle and continued to run until someone grabbed him.

"Let go!" He cried.

The person held on tighter, making Gackt struggle more.

A nurse came up beside them brandishing a syringe. Injecting the contents into the patients arm they watched as he slowly became docile in the man's arms. Looking up into his face, his eyes widened.

"Cha...cha..."He whispered before his eyes rolled back into his skull and he fell limp in the guitarist's arms.

"I'm so sorry Gaku." Chachamaru whimpered, lowering his friend gently onto the cold linoleum floor.

"Thank-you for catching him." The nurse said sweetly.

"What will you do to him now?" Chachamaru asked.

"Well, he'll have to be put into the hospital on constant suicide watch, once he is released he will be placed in a straight jacket and probably not allowed out of his room. The straight jacket is so he can cause noone else harm." She said indicating to his shredded fingers.

Chachamaru shuddered visibly and turned to walk away.

"Has anyone...come to visit him at all?" He asked suddenly.

"Yes, infact just yesterday he had a visitor. Hyde Takarai. He came out looking quite shaken." She explained.

"That's all I needed. Thank-you for taking care of him and trying to help." Chachamaru said walking away.


	3. Ch III

Title: Broken  
Author: Gacktaddict1330  
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde, Chachamaru/You, Ken/Tetsuya  
Genre: Romance/Drama  
Rating: M  
Warnings: some gore, insanity, guy lovin XD  
Summary: One of them is institutionalized and completely insane after an incident in his past. The other is perfectly sane but doesn't want to admit his best friend's completly gone after an encounter he has with the man while he's institutionalized. *sucky summary sorry*  
Notes: I've been rather depressed lately and this was born randomly. Thanks to anyone who puts up with this *it's not very good at all* I'm sorry i didn't get to update last week. i've been really sick with severe bronchitus *thats on the verge of pneumonia* but i'm slowly gettin better! i appreciate you all for everything! Thanks for keeping with me y'all.  
**Review Answers:**

**Chiakaiuki**: XDDDD I'm glad you like it! Things get...somewhat better as time goes on i spose...XD yes, insane Gackt

**AngelicButterfly777:** XD you'll find out in later chapters XD I'm still tryin to work out all the kinks in it XD. Yaaaaaaay i live to suck people in to the world of my twisted mind. ^/^ that's an honour even if you're just thinkin about it. thankies! XDDDDDDDDDDD after i wrote that i thought of Mr. Brain too lol but i don't want it to be like that...damn im not very original am i *sigh*

**Satchi Claus:** XD im just proud i came up with it alllllll by myself! im glad you like it!

Disclaimer: The boys own themselves, ^^

* * *

"How is he?" You asked.

"Not good at all. He tried to escape and I had to stop him so that they could sedate him...I feel so horrible that I had to do that..." Chachamaru said quietly.

"Oh god..."

"We're going to see Hyde." Chachamaru spoke suddenly.

"Why?" You asked, confusion painting his handsome face.

"He went to see Gaku yesterday, and the nurse said he left quite shaken." Chachamaru explained.

"Oh...ok then." You said quietly, staring into space.

* * *

"Hyde?" Tetsuya called, waving a hand in front of his friends face.

"Huh?" Hyde said intelligently, looking at him with blank eyes.

"You okay? I know you went to see Gackt yesterday...How was he?" Tetsuya asked.

"I'm...fine. He said he was alright, that they are treating him quite well." The small vocalist said quietly.

"What's got you so shaken then?" Ken asked coming up beside him.

"It's just...for one moment he was himself again. He looked at me and I saw Gaachan...I realized at that single moment in time how much I truely miss him." Hyde said, his voice starting out strong but then began to crack as he began to cry.

"Hyde...I'd say it'll be okay but...I don't really think it will be." Tetsuya mumbled.

"I want..." Hyde began, choking on his tears.

I want..." He tried again but his sobs restricted his words.

At this Tetsuya wrapped his arms around the smaller man, holding him close.

"I just want him back! That was the first time I'd seen him since they took him from me after we found him. I never...I never got to tell him how I feel and now...now I fear he'll never be the same." Hyde wailed. Tetsuya looked up at his lover, feeling his own tears build up at the heart wrenching sobs that the small vocalist was emitting.

A nock on the door was what made Tetsuya walk away for a moment, leaving Hyde with Ken who took up Tetsuya's place and held Hyde in his arms tightly.

Tetsuya returned moments later, Chachamaru and You in tow.

"Chacha?" Hyde sniffled.

"Hyde-chan, why are you crying?" The long haired guitarist asked.

Hyde stood, politely extracting himself from his friends' hold, and practically run into his open amrsm sobbing.

"I want Gaachan back!" He wailed loudly.

"I know Hyde. I'm so sorry." Chachamaru whispered, wrapping arms tightly around the smaller room.

"I need to talk to you about him actually." Chachamaru said once the small vocalist had somewhat calmed down.

"What is it?" Hyde asked, looking up at the guitarist.

"What did he do yesterday when you saw him?"

Hyde swallowed before slowly reaching up, long fingers grasping the high collar of his shirt, pulling it down to reveal purple fingerprints on his pale neck.

"He strangled you?" Tetsuya screamed.

"He...he didn't realize it. He...wasn't in his right mind." Hyde defended.

"Hyde, he's fucking insane! If he tried to fucking kill you, he's gone. He's not Gackt anymore. Get over and forget him. I'm sorry to say that but that's how I feel. It's sad because he was a great friend to all of us and now he's gone. But you have to accept it. It's for your own good." Ken exclaimed.

"Hyde, I'm sorry but...I'm forced to admit he's right. It might be best if you forget about him, and don't go to see him again." Chachamaru said quietly.

You nodded his agreement.

Hyde broke out of Chachamaru's hold and stepped back, eyes wide and filled with horror.

"NO! I'm not going to just forget about him! He's my best friend and I love him! I'm not just going to say 'oh well. He was a great guy. Its a pitty what happened.' He's still in there and I know it!"

"What do you mean Hyde?" You asked.

"When I saw him, for just a moment, he was Gackt. His eyes were normal, and he smiled so peacfully. He-" Hyde's voice broke and he began to weep helplessly once more.

"Go on Hyde-chan. We might be able to help him." Chachamaru said.

"He carressed my cheek with a gentleness I've never felt with anyone else. He's in there! Gackt is still Gackt! We just...need to help hm along. Please don't give up on him. I'm begging you just please help me!" Hyde wailed loudly.

The other men in the room looked at each other before sighing.

* * *

When Gackt awoke hours later he noticed the atmosphere was different. No longer did it feel somewhat welcoming, but it felt like death, cold and oppressive. He shuddered and tried to move his arms but found he couldn't. He began to panic, struggling even more, making the previously undetected heart monitor race.

A woman came in then, wearing a doctors coat.

"Gackt-san! You must calm down!"

"What's going one?" He asked, continuing to weakly struggle.

"You're in the hospital for your hands. You are tied to the bed so you can now harm yourself nor anyone else. Is there anything I can get for you?" She asked.

"There's nothing you can do. I want what I could never and can never, have." Gackt spoke in a brief moment of sanity.

"Gackt-san?" The doctor asked quietly.

The raven haired man didn't speak until he winced and then grinned, blood staining his teeth.

Rushing forward the woman wrenched his jaws open, sighing in relief when she felt and found he had just bit his lip. Without warning his jaws closed powerfully, trapping her fingers, making her shriek in pain.

Hearing the sound a nurse came running into the room.

Seeing the severity of the situation she ran out and returned with a syringe. Once more is was injected into Gackt's arm, and slowly his jaw became slack and his eyes slipped closed.

The doctor gingerly craddled her injured fingers, looking at the deep bite marks that were a bloody mess before looking to the young man who looked so peacful in his sleep.

* * *

"Thank-you for the update." Chachamaru whispered, closing his phone.

Hyde looked up enthusiastically before the look fell from his features, being replaced with fear at the exspression on his friend's face.

"Well?" He asked with baited breath.

"He...attacked another doctor earlier today. Only this time instead of strangling her he bit her and wouldn't let go. They...now have him in a muzzle..." Chachamaru said, his voice trailing off.

Hyde looked horrified at hearing the phrase.

"They put a muzzle on him?" He screamed.

"Hyde calm down-" Tetsuya started.

"I won't calm down!" Hyde raged.

"Please! It's for his own good!" You cried.

'His own good?"

"Think about it Hyde. He's hurting himself and those around him. This will stop that." You explained.

"Fuck this." Hyde spat, storming out the door of his apartment.

"Where's he going to?" Ken asked aloud.

"I'll give you one guess." Chachamaru said with a nervous look on his face.


	4. Ch IV

Title: Broken  
Author: Gacktaddict1330  
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde, Chachamaru/You, Ken/Tetsuya  
Genre: Romance/Drama  
Rating: M  
Warnings: some gore, insanity, guy lovin XD  
Summary: One of them is institutionalized and completely insane after an incident in his past. The other is perfectly sane but doesn't want to admit his best friend's completly gone after an encounter he has with the man while he's institutionalized. *sucky summary sorry*  
**Review Answers: **

**Chiakaiyuki:** yaaaaaaaay I'm glad you like it! lol, i don't THINK it gets very tragic...but, i could be wrong XD lol he's gonna make him better, i promise. Thanks so much, i'm doing much better.

**0928soubi at .jp:** it's okay hunny, Kristen passed along your review XD XDDDDDDDDD he will get better, with some time. lol, i'd like to say i'd be the same way but, i really don't think i could be. i don't think i could be that strong 'specially if they tried to kill me. XD no, he didn go crazy 'cuz he coudn express his love XD O.o who's given ya a drama fetish O.o XDDDDDDDD glad you love it?

**AngelicButterfly777:** lol well, he kinda yes, kinda no. XD you'll find out where they found him in a few chappies *meaning i sooooooooo don't have it written out yet myself XD* lol what kinda scenerious? XDDDDDDD *snickers* dirty thoughts? you're just like mee~~~ gladd you likes the chappie!

**Satchi Claus**: XDDDDDDD i kinda giggled myself when writing that. you should have heard the discussion we had in math class when i asked about them XD lol it is an entertaining image, isn't it. he makes them look good XDDDDDDDDD yea, i feel bad for him *and i'm the one putting him through it XD* hopes you likes the chappie!

Notes: I've been rather depressed lately and this was born randomly. Thanks to anyone who puts up with this *it's not very good at all* i'm so sorry it's been so long since i've updated or even posted something new. I've just been so busy lately I barely have time to type anything up. Thanks for keeping with me y'all. **Today, i was informed that a friend of mine *who was only in 9th grade* was killed in a car accident and the car was driven by his best friend. I wasn't goin to post this chapter because of it, but i decided to because i can't just stop everything. please keep his family in your thoughts though. his name was Noel Gonzales. thank you all.  
**Disclaimer: The boys own themselves, ^^

* * *

"He's technically not supposed to have visitors..." A male nurse told Hyde.

"Please I'm begging you, just let me see him. I won't stay long." Hyde whimpered.

The nurse looked at him for a moment before finally nodding his head.

"Alright. This way please."

Hyde followed the man, nervous about what he was going to find once he reached his destination.

"He's in here." The nurse began, stopping at a closed door.

"Do not release his hands. This is the only warning you shall revieve. If you do, you shall simply be banned from this hospital for the duration of his stay however long or short it may be."

"Yes sir." Hyde whispered.

The nurse let him in, closing the door behind him.

"Gaachan?" He said into the dark room experimentally.

Recieving a whimper as his answer he turned on the light, nearly collapsing from the sight that met him.

Gackt's arms were bound to the bed with leather bindings, and the bottom half of his face was covered with a white mask.

"Oh Gackt...I'm so sorry." Hyde mumbled.

He walked up to the bed and Gackt looked up at him with pleading eyes.

Reaching out a hand Hyde gently carressed the patients cheek.

"I wish I could have helped you more." He whispered.

Gackt leaned into the touch, nuzzling his face into the palm of Hyde's hand.

"Happy birthday Gaachan." Hyde whispered. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the younger man's forehead.

Gackt whimpered pittifully, struggling weakly against his bindings.

"I'm so sorry. I can't do anything." Hyde murmered, tears forming in caramel eyes as he leaned down to hug Gackt.

The vocalist sighed through his nose and nuzzled the pale exspanse of flesh of the vocalists neck reasurringly.

"Do you forgive me?" Hyde asked.

Gackt nodded, looking to the smaller man.

"Please don't be angry with me but...I can't stay long. Not only did I promise the nurse but I can't...I can't stand to see you, alway so strong and sure, so helpless like this. I want to see you again, not this you...I...I love you Gackt. And I'm going to figure out a way to get you out, that much you can be sure of. I won't give up until you are out of here and back home with me. I swear it." Hyde declared.

Tears began to form in momentairily clear brown eyes and Gackt nodded his thanks to his friend.

"Be good alright Gackt? Please, I'm begging you, don't do anything else to get into trouble. Focus on getting better and coming home. I want you home so much. When they finally take that mask off and we have some time, we have alot of catching up to do. I'll try to come back tomorrow okay? Be good for me." Hyde stressed, leaning down and embracing the taller man.

Pulling away he pressed a kiss to the patients forehead, lips lingering there while his right hand held Gackt's and his left hand carressed a pale cheek gently.

"I have to go now." He said standing straight. He gave one last loving smile before walking out the door where he was unsurprised to find his friends waiting for him, uneasiness painted across each of their faces.

"What are you doing here Hyde?" Chachamaru asked.

"Visiting my best friend. I made him promise me to get better so he can come home. I really think he's going to try too. He...he seemed to understand what I was saying well enough so...just maybe I got through to him. I know he's still in there because today he was just like his old self. He's still in there and I'm going to help him regain control." Hyde stated.

"Alright." Chachamaru said sighing heavily.

A month past and Gackt slowly started waking to reality.

True to his word, Hyde showed up the next day. And the next and the next until he became a common resident at the hospital all the nurses and doctors calling him by name affectionately.

Two weeks after Hyde's first visit the muzzle was removed from Gackt's face.

"Gaachan...I have something to tell you." Hyde whispered.

Gackt looked over at him, his hands still bound.

"In a week I'll...be leaving on tour."

"Oh..." Gackt said his brown eyes darkening with disappointment.

"I'm sorry Gaachan. I don't mean to leave you like this but...we've had this tour planned for so long..."

"It's...okay. You have a carreer to think about. I can't ask you to give up everything just for me. You have a son and a wife. You need to do this. This is who you are. Don't worry about me ok?" Gackt said quietly.

Hyde turned his face away, suddenly ashamed.

"Gaachan...Megumi and I we're...we're not married anymore." He said softly.

Brown eyes widened and the patient stared at him in shock.

"-what? W-what happened?" Gackt asked, his voice soft.

"Well...I...I have feelings for someone else and she...couldn't handle it. Not that I blame her or anything. I wouldn't have been able to be second best in her heart so, I don't blame her and I have no ill feelings towards her. We're still close friends. We split last year." Hyde explained.

"Oh...That's...quite a shock...I really have missed a lot haven't I?" Gackt said looking at the wall. Hyde nodded gently, opening his mouth to speak when Gackt cut him off unintentionally.

"And what of Ryue?"

"We have joint custody. While I'm on tour she will keep him. Hey, if you'd like I could see if I could bring him in...He would love to see you, he's always asking about you." Hyde said looking to the man in the bed.

Gackt shook his head firmly.

"No. I don't want him to see me like this."

"Oh, well ok." Hyde said quietly.

He watched Gackt, studying him carefully.

"Haido? Is something wrong?" Gackt asked.

"Oh um...it's nothing." Hyde said looking away.

"Well...alright then."

There was silence in the room before suddenly Gackt asked a question Hyde had been dreading since the patient came of his right mind.

"Tell me something Hyde, and be completely honest with me. Does anyone know...what I did to you?"

"Um...Chacha, You, Tetsu, Ken and i suspect my band know." Hyde mumbled.

Gackt sighed heavily through his nose.

"They really all must hate me now." He muttered.

"That's not true! I'm sure they don't hate you! How could You hate you after you've been through so much together! Or Chacha! I know they don't!" Hyde exclaimed.

"Not one of them has done anything to see me since Chacha helped sedate me that day I tried to kill you-"

"You didn't-" Hyde interjected.

"Hyde face it, I tried to kill you. I would have too had I not heard Kami's voice, we both know it. I'm sorry but maybe the doctors are right and you shouldn't actually be here..." Gackt whispered.

"No." Hyde said.

Gackt looked at him silently.

"You're not going to do this. I'm here and I'm not going to abondon you. Sure I can't be here every single day but, I'm not just going to leave and never come back. You're getting so much better, you're so close to the Gackt I knew. I know you can get well again and then you'll leave and everything will go back to normal again." Hyde said hopefully.

"Hyde, that's false hope and I can't condone it. You know as well as I nothing will be 'normal' or the way it used to be. I've been labeled mentally unstable and finally full blown crazy. I've lost my career and I won't allow you to be pulled down with me. You have a child, I have no one I need to go home to. No one who loves me in that way." Gackt said.

"You have me...I love you." Hyde whispered.

"Hyde, you know what I mean. I know you love me and I love you it's just...not the same." Gackt said quietly.

Hyde felt tears stinging his eyes and he released a nearly inaudible sigh before standing.

"I...have to go. Gotta get to practice."

"Oh...alright then. I'll see you later." Gackt whispered.

Hyde nodded and walked out the door, not even bothering to say good bye.

"He...didn't even say goodbye..." Gackt whispered.


	5. Ch V

Title: Broken  
Author: Gacktaddict1330  
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde, Chachamaru/You, Ken/Tetsuya  
Genre: Romance/Drama  
Rating: M  
Warnings: some gore, insanity, guy lovin XD  
Summary: One of them is institutionalized and completely insane after an incident in his past. The other is perfectly sane but doesn't want to admit his best friend's completly gone after an encounter he has with the man while he's institutionalized. *sucky summary sorry*  
Notes: I've been rather depressed lately and this was born randomly. Thanks to anyone who puts up with this *it's not very good at all* i'm so sorry it's been so long since i've updated or even posted something new. I've just been so busy lately I barely have time to type anything up. Thanks for keeping with me y'all.  
**Review Answers:**

**0928soubi at .jp:** XDDDDDDDDDDD dude, PLEASE send me pics of your costume! I'm dying to see it XD XD i think acutally he's pretty much normal for the duration of the fic...unless i get bored with it...which i probly will...XD...XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd wait...who's not perverted? If you mean me you're sorely mistaken. It doesn't often show, but I'm extremely perverted, i promise you that. O.o you're scaring me...heheheh yeah, he broke up her XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD awwwwwwwwww i'm so glad you loves it! O.o pass out?

**AngelicButterfly777:** Thank-you for your kind words about Noel. We all miss him dearly. I'm sorry you lost someone too. Eh, i'm always depressed so it's not like it's anything new *shrugs* I reeeeeeeeeeeally love it when people point out lines they like ^~^ that was the point behind the whole chapter ^~^ i'm glad you liked it!

Disclaimer: The boys own themselves, ^^

* * *

"Hyde!" Kaz exclaimed happily, bouncing over to his friend as the small man entered the rehearsal room.

"Hey." Hyde mumbled.

"What's wrong?" Kaz asked.

"It's nothing. Where is everyone?" Hyde asked.

"Not here yet, and DON'T try to change the subject. I know there's something bothering you so talk." Kaz said sternly.

Hyde sighed heavily.

"I...I told someone of my feelings for them...and they brushed it off like it was nothing, merely thinking of it as familial love."

"You...have feelings for...wait, where were you just now?" Kaz asked, his mind slowly putting an image together, piece by piece.

"Visiting a sick friend in the hospital." Hyde answered.

"Hyde, all of your friends are fine I've seen...wait, you didn't. Did you?" Kaz said, the picture becoming more clear in his mind.

"Did what Kaz? You're confusing me." Hyde asked.

"You went to see Gackt didn't you." Kaz accused.

"So what? He's my best friend! I have every right to go and see him whenever I feel!" Hyde exclaimed.

"Is that why you're always to busy to do anything lately? You've been going to see_** him **_all this time?" Kaz questioned.

"So what? It's my decision and it shouldn't matter!" Hyde yelled, glaring at Kaz.

"He tried to kill you! That should matter for something!" The guitarist yelled.

"If he really wanted to kill me I'd fucking be dead! He stopped, that's all that matters." Hyde said, trying to keep calm.

"Hyde listen to yourself! You're obbsessed!"

"I am not! He's my best fucking friend and I don't want to see him like this! I want him home...we both do." Hyde said, adding the last part as a quiet whisper.

"Who's...both?" Kaz asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Ryue. He and I want Gackt home so fucking bad. He cries a lot still. It's been three years and he doesn't really understand. He doesn't understand why his surrogate father left, and then suddenly his mother and I split apart. He understands we still love each other, and him, but he just doesn't quite get it yet. It hurts him so much." Hyde whispered.

"Seriously! Stop acting like a woman and grow up!" Kaz yelled.

"Fuck you Kaz! I'm so fucking tired of your hypocracy! You can whine and cry when Arimatsu tells you he wants to just stay friends after you tell him you love him, but I'm not allowed to be upset over the fact the man I love and who my son has come to refer to as 'Daddy' is in a hospital for something beyond his control? That's bull shit!" He yelled. He could feel himself begin to tremble, a sign he was loosing control.

"That's different. Arimatsu hasn't tried to kill me! And what do you mean 'something beyond his control'? How does that work?" Kaz yelled.

"Look, you won't understand this but at least try. I've been going to see him everyday for a month. Since I started seeing him he's becoming more and more like my Gaachan. The doctors say his is the quickest recovery they've ever seen. He's not fully well but he's well on his way. They say if he keeps progressing so well he might be able to come home within the year. Ryue would be so excited to know that..." Hyde trailed off, a gentle look on his face.

"How can you be so sure?" Kaz asked, stepping closer to Hyde.

"Step back Kaz." Hyde seethed through gritted teeth.

"How can you be so sure? Tell me something, are you really going to trust that man around your son? Are you really going to go to work everyday leaving your son in the hands of a man who cold bloodedly murdered four people? Who says he wouldn't break down and kill-" Hyde cut off the guitarists rant with a strangled yell, punching him in the jaw, throwing him to the ground.

He moved quickly, so he was straddling the fallen guitarist.

"I don't care who you are, or what position you have here in this band. If you ever speak of Gackt in that manner again, I'LL be the one who commits murder. And it'll be your blood on my hands. Are we clear?" Hyde asked, a deadly glint in his caramel eyes.

Kaz could say nothing, only stare in shock at the one man he never thought would release such a threat.

"I asked you a question and when I ask a question I expect an answer. Are we clear on the matter?" Hyde asked.

"Y-yes." Kaz mummbled, still in shock.

Hyde stood and started to leave when Kaz spoke once more.

"What happened to you? You used to be so kind and loving to everyone."

"I lost what was most important to me, and so I figured, why keep taking them, when I have no reason to continue." Hyde said before walking out of the room.

* * *

"Hey Chacha," You began softly, looking to his lover.

"Yes?"

"Can we go see Gaku? I mean, Hyde said he's doing much better and I want to see him. I miss him." You confessed.

Chachamaru thought for a moment before smiling.

"Sure, we can go. Do you want to leave now?" He asked.

"Yes!" You exclaimed, smiling like a child.

Chachamaru grinned and began to stand.

Suddenly You shuddered, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

"You-chan?" Chachamaru asked, looking worried.

"I suddenly got a cold chill. I have a bad feeling something big is going on." You said quietly.

Chachamaru nodded and walked to his car keys.

* * *

"Gackt-kun, visitors." A young cheerful nurse said, popping her head in the door.

"Oh? But Hyde already left for the day and...i doubt he'd be coming back." Gackt said confused.

The young girl stepped aside, opening the door fully, revealing the patient's two friends.

"Cha-Chacha! You!" Gackt shrieked in shock.

"Gaku!" You cried, practically running to the brunette's side.

"How are you?" He asked.

"I'm well." Gackt mummbled.

"Is something the matter?" You asked.

"No, not at all. What brings you both here?" He asked, a false cheerful tone lacing his voice.

You took notice of the tone but saving his friend's already shredded pride he did not comment.

"We wanted to come see you. We've missed your company." Chachamaru said approaching the patient. He took notice of the fact Gackt's hand was still wrapped in bandages, and his arms were bound to the bed and he grimaced.

"Chacha? What's the matter?" Gackt asked.

"Your hands. How could they bind you like some kind of animal?" Chachamaru asked.

Gackt shrugged to the best of his abilities.

"It allows me to have visitors. If I am able to see Hyde everyday like I have, I gladly give up motion of a couple limbs. It's not that bad really. He...helps me forget sometimes. But then other times...all I really want to do is hold him like I used to." Gackt mummbled, a blush present on his pale cheeks.

You smiled brightly at the patient.

"I had seriously almost forgotten how much of a hopeless romantic you are." Chachamaru snickered.

"Yeah well...I think I upset him today." Gackt explained.

"Why would you think that?" You asked.

"He left quickly, without even saying goodbye or anything. He never, never does that. He's never done that, ever." Gackt explained.

"I'll talk with him later." Chachamaru said as he and You took a seat on either side of the patients bed.

* * *

"Kaz hey...I thought Hyyde was sposed to be here and-what happened to you?" Ju-ken asked, entering the room, eyebrow raised at the sight of the guitarist sitting on a couch eyes clenched shut in pain while Arimatsu held a bag of ice on his nose.

"He and Hyyde exchanged words. Kaz said some pretty harsh thing about Gackt that Hyde didn't take kindly to and he decked him." Arimatsu explained, snickering when Kaz whined in pain.

"Man, I have no sympathy for you. You of all people should know you don't bad mouth Gaku around Hyde. It's just not safe. What did you say to him to make him deck you?" The red head asked.

"If you must know he asked why I would choose to hang around someone who tried to kill me, called me obsessed, tried to tell me I was acting like an impulsive woman, and called Gackt a cold blooded murder." Hyde said, entering the room with Jin.

Ju-ken started to say something when Hyde cut him off.

"But, the worst thing he could ever say, he said. He asked me if I would willingly give my son over to him. He suggested that Gackt might have a break down and...and...attack Ryue."

At this news, Ju-ken turned to the injured guitarist, a heated glare thrown his way.

"How dare you. HOw dare you suggest that. Gackt loves that little boy. To him, that child is just as much his child as he is Hyde's. He would never hurt Ryue, he cares too much."

"He supposedly cares about Hyde too, did you see the bruises on his neck from where that psycho tried to strangle him?" Kaz yelled.

"Enough!" Jin yelled.

All eyes turned to him.

"This is pointless. Kaz, you have spoken your feelings, drop it. Hyde, you do the same."

"He's sick yes. But he's getting the help he needs. Maybe one day, he'll be better." Ju-ken said softly.

Kaz snorted before looking at Hyde.

"So, why'd you come back?"

"I might not be happy with you at the moment, but we've got to practice. We're leaving on tour next week and can't afford to loose any practice time. Plus, I told Gackt this was why I'm leaving, and I'm not into the habit of lying to him. Let's get to work." Hyde snapped, ripping the ice pack out of Arimatsu's hand. They nodded and each wandered to their own intrument.

* * *

"Gaachan...I leave tomorrow." Hyde said quietly, looking at the raven.

"Oh. I hope you have fun." Gackt said in an emotionless voice.

"What's gotten into you this past week?" Hyde asked.

It had been a week since his hasty departure, and despite his daily visits Gackt was falling into a depression.

"What do you mean?" Gackt asked, feigning innocence.

"You know what? Nevermind. I'll see you sometime when I get back." Hyde snapped, standing and walking away.

Gackt watched him leave with sad eyes.


	6. Ch VI

Title: Broken  
Author: Gacktaddict1330  
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde, Chachamaru/You, Ken/Tetsuya  
Genre: Romance/Drama  
Rating: M  
Warnings: some gore, insanity, guy lovin XD  
Summary: One of them is institutionalized and completely insane after an incident in his past. The other is perfectly sane but doesn't want to admit his best friend's completly gone after an encounter he has with the man while he's institutionalized. *sucky summary sorry*  
**Review Answers: **

**Chiakaiyuki:** XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD i swear to everything, i wasn't thinking of that when i came up with this idea! XD lol yeah, he's stupid, definately. sweetie, he already left...this chappie takes place 6 months later...yea, he does need him...i feel better buuuuuuuuuut...iu has SEVERE WRITERS BLOCK! and can't think of ANYTHING for this story. i have like, half the next chapter done...and that's it.

**0928soubi at .jp: **XDDDDDDD i wanna see piccies! XD yesh, murder heheheh. lol. wait...regress? wtf does that mean? O.o *sniffle* you'd almost forgotten about mee? O.o

**AngelicButterfly777:** XDDDDDDDDDDD yesh, of course i had to bring him into this :D XDDDDDDDD wait what? saying nothing like a lump? whatcha mean? yesh, four people. it will ALL be revealed in a couple chapters...if i ever get rid of this writers block and write them out...YAY! glad you like the chapter :D Gir is love XD

Notes: I've been rather depressed lately and this was born randomly. Thanks to anyone who puts up with this *it's not very good at all* i'm so sorry it's been so long since i've updated or even posted something new. I've just been so busy lately I barely have time to type anything up. Thanks for keeping with me y'all.  
Disclaimer:

* * *

"Man, I can't believe Hyde is STILL mad about what Kaz said! It's been almost six months!" Jin exclaimed.

"I know. But...when you're in love with someone, I guess...you really take offense to stuff like that." Arimatsu explained quietly.

"I suppose..."Ju-Ken mumbled, trailing off.

They were sitting in the limo after a live, driving back to their hotel, and Hyyde was leaned up against the window, peacefully sound asleep.

Suddenly, his phone went off in the dead silence of the limo, startling him awake.

Looking at it with glossy eyes, he snapped fully awake when he read the caller id was Chachamaru.

"Moshi-moshi." He said quickly.

"Hyde...I...have really bad news." The guitarist said.

"What's going on Chachamaru?" Hyde asked.

"Gackt...he relapsed. He attacked a doctor again. They're keeping him sedated so he doesn't cause anyone harm but, they can only keep him under sedation for so long before it because detrimental to his health." Chachamaru explained.

"Oh god." Hyde choked.

Arimatsu looked at him, eyes conveying worry for his friend.

"Hyde? What's going on?" He asked.

"What aren't you telling me?" Hyde asked.

"He...he cries for you. He's constantly calling for you." The guitarist said.

Hyde was silent for so long that Chachamaru had to confirm he was still there.

"I'll be there by tomorrow." Hyde said suddenly, closing his phone.

"Hyde? We still have another concert." Kaz said, breaking the tense silence in the vehicle.

"I don't care. I'm going." Hyde snapped.

"But Hyde-"

"No! You don't understand. I have to be there. I can't leave him like that." Hyde explained.

"But this is your career you're risking!" Kaz yelled.

"And he's my life and my family. He's more important to me than my career is. I'm sorry Kaz. This is my decision. Accept it or not, it's what I'm doing." Hyde whispered.

His bandmates gawked at him, surprised by the conviction in his words.

"Besides, if I'm lucky, I can go see him, hopefully reasure him and get back to where our last live is and be there in time for practice. I can do it." Hyde said, trying to convince the guitarist.

"Fine." Kaz gave in.

* * *

"You came." Chachamaru said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Is he...okay?" Hyde asked.

Chachamaru shook his head.

"He's awake...but completely unresponsive."

Hyde looked towards the door, a nervous glint in his eyes.

"You don't have to do this you know." The older man said quietly.

"Yes I do. If I leave him, I'll never be able to forgive myself. Chacha, I...love him. I'm not just going to abandon him. I've told you that before. Now, please step aside." Hyde requested in a strong voice.

Chachamaru did as asked and Hyde entered the hospital room.

"Gaachan?" Hyde called softly.

Gackt made no move to acknowledge him, so he tried again.

"Gaachan."

Still no answer.

"God damn it Gackt. Look at me!" He snapped.

The patient looked at him, eyes blank.

"I'm...fine." Gackt mumbled.

"Don't lie to me. It's me, it's Haido. Now, tell me the truth." Hyde requested.

Gackt looked at him before tears began to fall.

The small vocalist rushed to his side, cradling his head in small arms.

"Shhh, it's alright. What's going on, what's wrong?" Hyde whispered.

"Hyde is mad at me." Gackt sobbed.

"What?"

"I made him mad and now he won't even come see me! I think he hates me." Gackt wailed.

Hyde staired at him in confusion.

Gackt began to cry harder, his body beginning to tremble.

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm sure he doesn't hate you. I'm positive. Relax, it's okay. It's all okay." Hyde cooed.

Gackt pushed his face into the smaller man's chest to the best of his abilities and wailed.

"Gaachan please, calm down. It'll be alright." Hyde muttered. Suddenly, an idea clicked into his mind.

"Hey, wanna hear a secret about Hyde?"

Gackt nodded mutely.

"I heard, from Hyde himself, that he's in love with you. He really wants you home. His little boy, Ryue, really misses you as well. Hyde asked me to tell you he wants you to get better so he can tell you himself how he feels. He's really sorry he can't be here right now too." Hyde explained.

Gackt sniffled, before smiling brokenly.

"I...I love him too." He whispered.

"Wellm, then you've gotta get better! If you get better you can be with him!" Hyde exclaimed.

"I will try to get well for him." Gackt mumbled.

"I've gotta go now, okay Gackt?" Hyde said, tears threatening to spill from caramel eyes.

"Okay." Gackt whimpered, looking dejected.

"Hyde's got one more live, and then he'll be home okay? Give him one month at most. I'll make sure he comes here first thing when he returns alright?"

Gackt nodded and Hyde walked out the door, taking a shruddering breath once the door closed behind him.

"Hyde?" Chachamaru inquired.

"He...didn't even know...who I was." Hyde whispered.

"What?" Chachamaru gawked.

"He didn't even recognize me. He just kept saying that I was mad at him, so I wouldn't come see him. I had to get out. I'm sorry...I fell like I've abandoned him..." Hyde trailed off.

"It's alright Hyde. It's not your fault." You said softly.

"I've...got to go back...We've...got one more live left. I've got to get back." Hyde mumbled.

"Alright, if that's how you feel." Chachamaru said.

"I'm so sorry." Hyde whimpered pittyfully.

"Hyde, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault." You said gently, resting a comforting hand on the vocalist's shoulder.

Hyde coughed, a heavy sobbed laced with it, closing his eyes.

"I-I told him how I feel." Hyde whispered.

"You did?" You asked.

"Yes, I had to say it like I was someone else but...I told him. I don't know how credible it is but, he told me he loved me too, and he was going to try and get better." The small vocalist said.

"Well, I personally think it's a very credible answer. He's a helpless romantic at heart, and probably would have liked to have told you in a different manner, but he is still telling you the truth. I promise you Hyde, he's told me of his feelings before. And he was telling you the truth." You explained.

"I agree with you. It is not the ideal confession but he does not lie." Chachamaru said.

Hyde thought for a moment, before a heavy sigh overtook him.

"I love him so much, but if this is what I'm going to be dealing with, I don't know if I can do it." Hyde said quietly.

"I understand. If this is how you really feel, then leave. I will explain to him what is going on. Please be care Hyde. I don't care to see you get hurt." Chachamaru said. Hyde nodded slowly.

"Hyde, please be sure of what you want before you make a decision. Leave, but think about this. Don't let your guilt rule you. Let your heart decide. You said you love him. Let that be what guides you." You said softly.

Hyde nodded, before turning to walk away.

"Do you think he will return?" You asked, looking to his older lover.

"I don't know. God I hope he does." Chachamaru whispered.

* * *

"Hyde! You made it back!" Ju-Ken exclaimed.

"Yeah, I promised I would be back didn't I?" Hyde said, trying to seem cheerful.

"You okay?" Arimatsu asked, coming up behind him.

"Um...I'm alright." Hyde confirmed. Watching the vocalist walk away Arimatsu blinked, before looking to Ju-Ken who shrugged.

"Well, alright then."


	7. ch VII

Title: Broken  
Author: Gacktaddict1330  
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde, Chachamaru/You, Ken/Tetsuya  
Genre: Romance/Drama  
Rating: M  
Warnings: some gore, insanity, guy lovin XD  
Summary: One of them is institutionalized and completely insane after an incident in his past. The other is perfectly sane but doesn't want to admit his best friend's completely gone after an encounter he has with the man while he's institutionalized. *sucky summary sorry*  
Notes: **Alright, so I just wanted to apologize for such a long hiatus. I am working on this again, I swear. I've been meaning to post this, but I've been so busy moving that I never got around to it. I am so sorry!  
****Review Answers:**

**O928soubi at .jp**: Oh…alright then, I learned a new word to use in this…XD You're reviews are always perfect dear, they're full of hyper randomness and cheer me up ^o^ *pokes you* Never saw any pictures XD

**AngelicButterfly777**: It gets better in this chapter :3 lol yea, for some reason Kaz is always acting like a jerk in my stories…kinda like poor Kami XD Hm….that does sound like a good one-shot XD I'll try that later ^o^

**Esstel**l: Well…it's been 8 months, but here's more XD

**Bloodypleasure**: lol of course you can mark it! I love that song and you're right, it does work here lol  
Disclaimer: The boys own themselves, ^^

* * *

The month passed, melting into nearly two and Hyde still did not return to the hospital, as it stood, no one had even heard from him.

"You, is Hyde back yet?" Gackt asked softly.

"I don't know Gaku." You confessed.

"Oh…" The patient sighed heavily.

"Don't worry though! He'll be here sooner than you know!" You said trying to fake cheerfulness.

"Why…don't I believe you?" Gackt burbled.

"I promise Gaku, he'll come back."

"Pft, yeah ok."

You sat quietly, upset at his friend's attitude, though he could not blame him for such feelings. Hours passed by with no sounds save for the monitor on Gackt and Chacha's occasional visits in, those didn't last long due to the tense atmosphere in the room though. Suddenly a knock rang out in the silence. The door opened a fraction and Hyde poked his head in timidly.

"Gaachan?" He called out meekly.

Gackt looked up and a genuine smile found its way on to his face.

"Haido!" He exclaimed.

You looked momentarily shocked before smiling and shivering.

"You came. See Gaku! I told you he'd be here!" He said grinning.

Gackt smiled shyly at the vocalist as he made his way in to the room.

"Hey Gaachan." He said.

You casually slipped out the door, giving the two some well-deserved privacy. Slowly Hyde's smile fell, giving way to an anxious, nervous look.

"Hyde I-"

"Gackt I'm so sorry!" Hyde interrupted.

"Sorry? For what?" Gackt asked.

"I began to lose faith in you, and in myself. I was beginning to doubt you could ever get better. I thought…I actually considered never coming back to see you. I'm so sorry! I don't know why I thought like that, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Hyde said quickly, bowing low over and over again.

"Hyde." Gackt said in a forceful tone, one that made Hyde stop his movements and stare at the former soloist with wide eyes.

"It doesn't matter to me what you thought." He said. He made a beckoning motion with his head and once Hyde was beside his bed he raised long arms up, wrapping them around Hyde's neck, pulling him down and embracing him.

"All that matters to me is the fact you came back to me." He whispered gently. Hyde was shocked that he was able to move his arms; no one had called in a while to update him. Quickly his shock wore off and he hugged Gackt back tightly. They stayed in each other's arms for an undetermined amount of time before Hyde had to stand straight.

"When did they remove the restraints?" He asked.

"Last week." Gackt announced proudly.

"That's great."

"They said it means I'm well on the way to getting out of this place, and the institution." Gackt explained softly.

"I'm happy to hear that." Hyde said with a fond smile.

Gackt smiled back, before his smile fell.

"Gaachan?" Hyde inquired.

"Oh…I was just…thinking is all."

"About what?" The small vocalist asked.

"What I'm going to do when I get out." Gackt said quietly.

"Well, first thing, we're getting you new clothes, and then, you're going to see Ryue." Hyde instructed.

Gackt stared wide eyed.

"And then, at least for a little while, you'll be staying in the apartment with us."

Gackt stared at his friend, slack jawed.

"Wait what?"

"You heard me. You're staying with us. I don't want you by yourself so soon after you are released.

Please don't fight me on this either Gackt." Hyde requested.

"Hyde I…" Gackt trailed off, suddenly nervous.

"Yes?" Hyde responded patiently.

"Um how…how do you…no never mind. It's nothing really important."

"No, what were you going to ask? For you to ask, it must be important, at the very least, it's important to you." Hyde urged.

"W-well, someone told me that you…had feelings for me…I-I just wondered how you felt." Gackt mumbled.

Hyde blushed bright red, and looked to the suddenly fascinating tile beneath his feet.

"I um…I…I do….have feelings for you but…um…"

"No, never mind. Like I said, it's nothing important, and I'm sorry to bug you like this." Gackt said quickly.

Hyde looked at the former soloist, before leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth.

"I do have feelings for you." He said softly.

Gackt's lips curved into a smile and he slowly began to raise his arms to wrap around the small vocalist but he hesitated, preparing to lower them. Hyde gave a soft, understanding smile and took Gackt's wrists in hand, wrapping them around his waist.

"Now, you have to get better. Swear to me you will." Hyde said.

"I'll try…I make no promises

"No, you will. You will get better, and then you'll get out of here. When you do…if you want that is, you'll have a family to come home to." Hyde said in a shy voice.

Gackt stared at him, still slightly shocked.

Beginning to feel nervous, the smaller male shifted from leg to leg, waiting for an answer.

His companion smiled, before pulling him close as possible without pulling him onto the bed.

"I'd like that very, very much." He said with a warm smile.

Hyde grinned happily.

"Ryue will be happy to see you." He said

"What about you?"

"Well, I'll be happy to see you out of here too. When you're home, I can do this," Hyde paused and leaned down to kiss him.

"To you more often."

Gackt smiled before that smile fell.

"Wait…what about your career? You can't be seen with a male partner, much less a former singer, who's spent years in an institution for mentally unstable patients." He said quietly.

Hyde smile faltered for a moment before he shrugged.

"I don't care."

"You should care! This could ruin your career and everything you've worked for! It could-"Hyde cut off his rant with a deep kiss, pulling back an inch.

"You're who I want. I want you to help raise Ryue, and I want you in my life. If people stop liking my music because of that, then they only liked me because of how I look and act, not because they like my music. Those aren't the kind of fans I want any way."

Gackt stared, completely in shock.

"H-Haido…"

"Gackt, this is my decision. Please respect it. If it's not what you want, please tell me now, before this goes any farther between us."

There was no hesitation in Gackt when he answered.

"I want this; I just don't want to see you get ruined because of me. I've done enough of that to last a life time…or three."

Hyde chuckled lightly, before looking at the clock.

"I've got to go, I have an interview today. I'm sorry Gaachan."

"It's alright. You came to see me, and you've offered me something I can't compete with. I don't mind an interview. Be careful okay?"

"Kay."

Gackt watched as Hyde left the room, stopping to talk to You before running off.

'A family…and a home…all in about thirty minutes too.' He thought with a laugh.


	8. Important Notice, not a Discontinue!

So I know I haven't updated this in so long, but I lost all my notes for the next 4 chapters. So I'm trying to rewrite it all. I do have news. I only plan on putting 2 more chapters to this story. I've lost interest in it, but I will finish it. I also have a side story in the works about Gackt during his captivity that explains everything, including how he got put in the institution. I promise it will be out by the end of next month, that's my dead line for myself xD

Sorry but i've recently kind of...outgrown my GakuHai obsession, I've found other things to occupy my mind *coughHetaliacough* so if any of you are fans of Hetalia I have new works out for that show xD I am going to try to find a way to finish all my Gakuhai fics just as soon as I finish the last 2 in my Sign Series for Hetalia. Then its all about Gakuhai until they're finished, I swear.

Thanks for sticking with me through this!


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Broken  
Author: Gacktaddict1330  
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde, Chachamaru/You, Ken/Tetsuya  
Genre: Romance/Drama  
Rating: M  
Warnings: some gore, insanity, guy lovin XD  
Summary: One of them is institutionalized and completely insane after an incident in his past. The other is perfectly sane but doesn't want to admit his best friend's completly gone after an encounter he has with the man while he's institutionalized. *sucky summary sorry*  
Notes: I've been rather depressed lately and this was born randomly. Thanks to anyone who puts up with this *it's not very good at all* i'm so sorry it's been so long since i've updated this…I've been lacking the want to type anything up. Thanks for keepin with me y'all.  
**Review Answers:** WOW! I had forgotten how many were on here!

**Soubi**: Glad you liked it that much :3 we were actually talking about your halloween pictures as Takagami Teijiro I think…

**Esstell:** It's finally updated! But there's only 1 more chapter and a small side story for this actually. I lost ALL my chapters I had hand written for it. Plus…I outgrew this phase for right now…

**Eona:** lol I understand xD I'm so glad you liked it! Unfortunately…it took a lot longer to finally update this xDD I'm so sorry!

**Kaoru:** Here you go~ Wow! I'm honnored you found it that good! ^/ /^

**AngelicButterfly**: Yeah…I know how that is. I've been super busy myself lately thanks, it's kinda nice to be writing on this again. I can finally finish it xD

**MiyavisHeart:** You have since reviewed quite a few of my Gakuhai works XD O.O oh nononono. Definitely not a 60 chapter story. Try 9…and a side story. It was originally meant to be 20 or so, but when I moved all my handwritten chapters *up to 19* got lost. If I find them again I will type them and fix this, but it's not lookin good…I'm sorry

**BloodyPleasure**: xDDD O.o sometimes people scare me…xDD well…he was sposed to get some Hyde lovin, but that didn't end up happening due to my unorganized partial Italian self. Oh no no! No death fic! I'd cry myself! I can't write sad stuff like that!

**Chiakaiyuki: **I'm sorry to loose you as a reader TT^TT but eventually I'll get back into the Gakuhai mood and BAM! Have a new one-shot or something :3 right now I'm just in a Hetalia mood ^^;;;

Notes: I am SO SORRY! I have had so much stress lately, and I haven't had time to write on this. My handwritten things have gone missing, and as posted in my notice this is the second to last chapter for this story. However, as stated in a reply, if I find my notes, I WILL post those in place of the 9th chapter. This is the actual 8th chapter xD  
Disclaimer: The boys own themselves, ^^

* * *

A few months after Gackt was released, Hyde and Ryue had relocated to the house Gackt had lived in prior to everything happening after Gackt convinced him the extra space would be good for Ryue. That particular day Gackt was playing with Ryue while Hyde was at work.

"Daddy, will help me?" The boy asked.

"With what Ryue?"

"I want to make Daddy a cake, but…I need help."

"Sure, we can make him a cake. What kind?" Gackt asked with a smile leading the boy to the kitchen.

"Chocolate!" Ryue exclaimed.

Gackt chuckled, prepared for the answer.

"I figured as much."

In the process of making the cake, they made a giant mess of the kitchen, and when Hyde returned, he found his son and boyfriend covered in flour and batter.

"Wh-what happened?" He asked in shock.

Gackt and Ryue shared identical mischievous looks, before dashing out of the kitchen, heading for the yard. Hyde chuckled, taking chase.

For nearly half an hour they played, enjoying the time together, before collapsing in the kitchen, on the tile floor.

"Honestly, what did you two do that made such a mess?" Hyde asked, picking a glob of batter out of his son's hair.

"We made you a cake!" Ryue exclaimed, climbing from Gackt's lap into his father's.

"A cake?" Hyde echoed.

"Yeah!"

Gackt nodded in confirmation before standing.

"See?" He said bringing the cake to Hyde's eye level.

"Oh…you two are so sweet!" Hyde gushed, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Don't be sad Daddy!" Ryue exclaimed, nearly in tears himself.

"I'm not sad Ryue. Not at all." Hyde soothed.

"Then why are you crying?" The little boy asked confused.

"I'm happy. They're happy tears. Hyde explained with a smile.

"Oh! Okay then!" Ryue said before jumping up.

"Let's go get you in a bath and get you cleaned up okay? Hyde said, standing as well.

"I'll be right back Gaachan."

Gackt nodded and watched as the two wandered off down the hall.

Turning around to survey the damage and start to clean up he sighed when he saw how big the mess actually was.

"Oh boy." He mumbled, before putting cellophane over the cake, and putting it on a clean counter.

Hyde reentered the kitchen, smiling at the sight of Gackt still in his apron hands on his hips looking for a place to start.

"You guys really did a number on the kitchen, didn't you?" He commented lightly.

Gackt nodded, before grabbing a wet cloth and dropping to the ground, choosing to clean the tile first.

"Sorry you had to come home to such a mess." He mumbled.

Hyde watched him with a grin, before stopping him by sitting in his way.

"Thank-you." He whispered.

"For what?" Gackt asked confused.

"For everything you've done for Ryue. He loves you, and you're making his dream come true by spending so much time with him."

"I don't mind at all. But…does it bother you when he calls me…Daddy?" Gackt asked in a shy tone, so unlike his normal voice.

"No, not at all. I'm happy you allow it." Hyde answered.

Gackt smiled at him before going back to scrubbing the floor.

"I don't honestly know why you're saying 'thank-you' to me for any reason. I should be saying that to you." He commented softly.

"Why do you think that?" Hyde asked.

"You saved me. In all truth, you saved my sanity. I would still be in a hospital, or institution, if you hadn't come to see me that day. That set everything in motion. I'm still…so ashamed I tried to kill you and – He was silenced by a finger to his lips and Hyde smiling lovingly.

"You don't need to feel anything about it anymore Gackt. It's in the past, well over a year ago. I forgave you that day. I've told you, I love you, and I definitely don't blame you. It's okay." Hyde said sweetly.

Gackt smiled, tears visible in bleu eyes.

Suddenly Hyde grabbed his hand, bringing it to eye level and examining his fingers.

"They healed quite nicely. I'm happy." He said, before placing soft kisses on each one.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." Gackt answered softly. Moving forward he was about to kiss Hyde when a giggle stopped him. Looking over to the door they saw Ryue, peaking around the frame.

"And just what, may I ask, are you doing?" Gackt asked playfully.

"Watching." Ryue said simply.

Opening his arms Hyde allowed the boy to barrel into him, picking him up.

"All clean?" He asked. The little boy nodded happily, grinning.

"Alright, go play." Hyde said, setting the boy down and watching as he took off out the back door to the swing set Gackt had set up.

Stepping up behind the smaller male Gackt wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging him close. Hyde turned in his hold, wrapping his arms around his companion, loving the feel of Gackt in his arms.

"I'm going to shower. We can have a piece of cake when I'm done, sound okay?" Gackt asked softly, face buried in Hyde's shoulder.

"Mhm, so make it fast, I want cake" Hyde said playfully. Nodding Gackt headed in the direction of his room, before getting in the shower.

When he reentered the room, he saw two sets of brown eyes staring at him anxiously.

"Okay okay, I get it." He chuckled, walking to the cake. Taking two plates from the nearby cabinet he served two pieces of the cake, grabbing forks, and delivering it to the two.

"Daddy, there's only two pieces."

"Yes I know Ryue." With a devilish smirk Gackt reached over with his own fork, and stole some of the little boys cake, causing him to release an undignified shriek.

"That's mine!" Ryue wailed.

Hyde laughed at the playfulness his partner showed, liking this side of him, watching as they playfully argued, before Gackt made a show of sighing in defeat.

"Fine fine. I surrender."

Ryue yelled happily, digging into his cake once more. Gackt reached over and stole some of Hyde's cake, eating it happily.

"If you wanted some, why didn't you get your own?" Hyde asked.

"I don't want the whole piece. Just a little bit." Gackt explained. Hyde chuckled lightly, moving the plate in between them so the taller male could eat it too.

After their cake was finished Ryue charged for the back door, a smile upon his face.

"Come play with me!" He exclaimed.

Gackt rose, as did Hyde, and they proceeded out the back door.

"We're going to play tag!" Ryue announced. Gackt chuckled at that, and Hyde nodded.

"Daddy, you're it!" He shouted, pointing to Gackt.

"Fine fine." Gackt said, before counting to ten and beginning to slowly chase the boy.

Tripping the boy yelped, pulling his knee up. His parents came running, and he showed his bloody knee.

"Are you okay?" Hyde asked, crouching beside him.

"I'm fine." Ryue mumbled, trying to hold back tears.

Bleu eyes widened at the sight of the blood, and Gackt froze, his mind being forced back to his captivity as his past hit him full force.

* * *

_Looking around he saw his captors laying in pools of their own blood, pieces of their bodies strew around them. Slowly he raised his right hand, looking at the amount of blood staining it. Wordlessly he bent down, picking up the large knife beside him, before walking to the first body. Turning it over, he discovered with nearly giddy delight the man was still alive._

_A maniacal grin overtook his face, and with slow, deliberate strokes he began to carve into the man's skin, despite his begging and pleading. Applying steady pressure he cut into the man's abdomen, pulling back the skin to reveal the muscle and tissue beneath._

_Looking at the knife, he suddenly took hold of the blood stained blade, as he began to smash the man's face, completely crushing his nose. Becoming bored he looked to his own hand, staring at the blood oozing from the cut._

* * *

The scene became hazy, before he blinked. When everything came back into focus he found two sets of worried brown eyes staring down at him. Looking around he noticed he was on the ground, Hyde and Ryue standing over him.

"Gackt what happened?" Hyde asked.

Pressing a hand to his head Gackt groaned as a headache made its presence known.

"It was nothing. I just got light headed and fell. Nothing to be worried about." He mumbled.

"Gackt it had to be something. You don't just faint like that. Something happened." Hyde pressed.

"I said it's nothing!" Gackt yelled, standing and storming inside.

Hyde watched after him, holding Ryue's shoulder to keep him from running after the male.

* * *

A few hours went by, and Ryue was napping when Hyde decided to go look for his partner. Looking out the back door he saw the raven sitting on the fence, bathed in silver moonlight.

"Gackt? Are you okay?" he called.

Looking over his shoulder, Gackt sighed.

"What happened earlier? And please, be honest with me."

"It really was nothing I promise. I just felt faint and before I realized it, I was on the ground." Gackt explained, excluding the knowledge it was a memory.

Hyde stared at him, sensing the lie, but also sensing it was something the other male was ashamed to talk about, so he let the subject drop.

"Come in, it's time for dinner."

Gackt looked at him, eyes rather depressed.

"Please Gackt, I need to know you're okay." Hyde said softly, holding out a hand to the man.

"I'm fine Hyde. Really, I was just thinking." Gackt explained, forcing a smile to his face.

Hyde glared at him, before finally giving up.

"Will you at least come in for dinner?"

Wordlessly Gackt placed his hand in his partners, standing up. Smiling, the smaller male wasted no time in dragging him into the house, waking his son for dinner.

Looking around the only thought that passed through his mind was '_this could actually work out_' before he smiled at his new family.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Broken  
Author: Gacktaddict1330  
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde, Chachamaru/You, Ken/Tetsuya  
Genre: Romance/Drama  
Rating: M  
Warnings: some gore, insanity, guy lovin XD  
Summary: One of them is institutionalized and completely insane after an incident in his past. The other is perfectly sane but doesn't want to admit his best friend's completly gone after an encounter he has with the man while he's institutionalized. *sucky summary sorry*  
Notes: I've been rather depressed lately and this was born randomly. Thanks to anyone who puts up with this *it's not very good at all* i'm so sorry it's been so long since i've updated this…I've been lacking the want to type anything up. Thanks for keepin with me y'all.  
Notes: **FINAL CHAPTER!**  
Disclaimer: The boys own themselves, ^^

* * *

Gackt smiled, looking around him.

It was nearly 4 years after he had been released from the institution, and he was happy. He had flashbacks every once in a while, but he was alright with it. Telling Hyde had been the best thing he had ever done. His small lover helped him through the memories, and kept the turmoil from their son.

Gackt smiled looking at the now 8 year old boy excitedly passing out presents to the people in the room. He had adopted Ryue himself, with permission from Megumi, nearly 2 years ago.

"Papa?"

Looking down he smiled at the boy, taking the offered present. Looking over at Megumi he was relieved to see her smiling at them before leaning against her husband.

Eyes roving around the room they stopped on Kaz, smiling at Arimatsu. He finally accepted the fact Hyde was in love with Gackt, and he wouldn't allow anything he said to break them apart. Finally he apologized to the ex-vocalist, still not liking him, but at least he stopped glaring and coming over at all hours to be sure he hadn't eaten Hyde.

Chuckling at the memory he was rewarded with strange looks that he brushed off with a gentle smile and a quiet 'sorry I was just thinking.'

After everyone had opened their gifts, they migrated to the table for their Christmas dinner Gackt Hyde and You had prepared. Everyone smiled at the copious amount of food placed on the table knowing Gackt had a tendency to over prepare for such festivities. It was a quirk everyone loved about him.

Once dinner was complete everyone slowly filtered out of the house, leaving the tiny family alone, Ryue falling asleep on the couch.

Swooping down the ex-vocalist picked up the child, nuzzling his cheek happily.

"Time for bed Ryue?"

He was rewarded with a yawn and a soft "Yes Papa."

"Gackt, when you're done, I have something for you." Hyde called up the stairs after his love.

"Do you want me to read you anything tonight?" Gackt asked, looking down at the small boy.

"No Papa, I'm sleepy."

Smiling he leaned down and kissed the child's forehead, gently brushing his bangs aside before pulling up the blankets and tucking him in.

Heading back downstairs he approached his love, wrapping arms around his waist. Kissing his cheek he smiled softly.

"I love you so much...you have done so much more than anyone could have expected you to do."

The small male turned in his hold, caramel eyes looking up at him, love flooding their gorgeous depth. Holding up a small wrapped box in his face.

"I didn't want to give this to you in front of everyone. I want this to be something just between us for now."

Gackt blinked, taking the box. Unwrapping it he was shocked to see it was a hinged velvet box. Looking at Hyde, bleu eyes wide, he was urged to open it by his small smile, and excited eyes. Opening the small black box he saw a pure platinum ring with 5 old Celtic designed circles lining the top, 5 small diamonds embedded in the metal nestled against the red satin lining. Looking at his lover again he had confusion in his eyes.

"Gackt, I'm asking you to marry me. Please?"

Slowly a smile overtook the ex-vocalists face and he hugged him tight.

"Of course I will!"

"It will never be official, but it's official to us." Hyde spoke with a smile, raising up to kiss his love.

Gackt smiled, feeling everything was finally right in the world.


End file.
